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I am so very grateful to the clients and friends who have shared feedback from their experience working with Good Grief Doula. Please take a look at their comments below :)
"Honestly Kat may have been the best speaker I have ever heard." - BJ
"Kat has been a lifesaver for me since I lost my husband. Ever good natured and reliable, she has helped me to organize and downsize from one house to another—moving, categorizing and labelling, storing, saving, giving away, shedding the unnecessary—never judgmental. Despite my easily distractible mind, with her uncanny ability to remember details and to remind me of what I’ve said I want for my new life and home, she helps me maintain focus and to move forward toward that goal. She never loses sight of the bigger picture. We’ve made huge progress together in this long, interesting, creative (often hilarious), collaborative process that makes this chapter of my life very, very good." - JP
"After struggling with the loss of my parents for over five years, I googled "grief doula" on a whim and found Kat. What a blessing! Kat customized our sessions to fit where I was and what I needed and did so with compassion and grace that my heart so needed. She helped me navigate not only the loss of my parents, but other losses in my life. I will carry what I learned from Kat throughout my life and will always be grateful for the healing that she facilitated." - MP
"Kat was the light I needed during a dark period in my life. I lost my mother unexpectedly right before the start of the new year and wasn't sure where to turn. I found myself opening up very quickly; it was extremely cathartic. I highly recommend speaking with her to anyone who has lost a loved one, a pet, a relationship, a connection." - MM
"I’m grateful for the support I received from Kat during one of the hardest times of my life. She was my person as I: had questions about my existence, dealt with this new and very real vacancy in my life, and processed some raw emotions. She personalized every interaction, brought authenticity, and was flexible in how she leveraged her tools and frameworks through her approach. Everything we discussed resonated and I can’t imagine not having this kind of support in my life. I’ve told my inner circle about Kat and think everyone who is ready to embrace this type of processing should engage with Kat!" - LL
"I feel so much better. Expressing everything to someone really helped. 10/10 would recommend - thank you!" - Anonymous
"My experience working with Kat was simply amazing! I felt seen and heard from the first interaction onward. The grief sessions were a safe space where I was able to be myself and make sense of my grief. I loved how the grief release package was structured in such a way that each session responded to a need I had at that specific time. I also enjoyed each homework assignment and how Kat drew from several practices to help me see new things and old things in new ways! I am reminded of a quote by Carl Jung reflecting on my experience with Kat: 'The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.' Kat gave me a toolkit to bravely face my grief and I feel empowered to do so with confidence now. If you are reading this, I am sorry for the loss that brought you here, but also you will be in great hands working with Kat!!" - RB
"Kat was so empathetic, tender and kind. Very grateful for her intuitive grace." - HF
"Kat was AMAZING, she gave me so many resources and amazing service, she was so kind and made me feel respected. I'm so happy I met her." - Anonymous
"Kat did the most beautiful job of counseling me through a very profound loss in my life two years ago. My most beloved non-human family member was facing her final days, and Kat graciously held space for her loss as she would have if she had been a person. I think that's so important: loss of an animal isn't always given the weight it deserves in our culture. But Kat understood what this transition symbolized for me and how hard it was. I can't recommend her enough." - LK
"This woman has an innate ability to both calm and inspire, igniting something in me. Kat has a wonderful presence and I always feel better after working with her." - ST
"'Kat was super helpful... I liked that she shared resources with me that feel like tangible things I can use as I continue to work through the things I am trying to unlock. She obviously couldn't solve my problem, as it was out of her control, but did everything possible to help" - Anonymous
"Kat is a real life angel. She is one of the most intuitive, calming and nurturing humans I have ever met. She is always there to show empathy and support especially in time of need. She creates a safe space to help open up and guide you through what you are trying to process. You can express yourself to her with out judgement. She helps guide you to exactly where you need to be (even if you don’t know where you should be). I have nothing but kind things to say about Kat. Her dedication to helping others speaks volumes, she is truly one of a kind and I am forever grateful to know her. I give her 5 stars and HIGHLY recommend her!" - JF
"Kat is amazing! I thought about the discussion for several days after we met. I really appreciate how knowledgable and thoughtful Kat is. Kat has a true gift and makes discussing grief and death comforting. I wouldn't hesitate to refer, or seek Kat's guidance in the future." - TO
"I received an understanding ear, I was comforted and uplifted, and then was able to talk about self-care step by step to slowly get back up. It helped me a lot and felt genuine." - Anonymous
It’s natural to feel tempted to hand over the reins and ask someone to “just tell me what to do!” when engulfed by loss. But grief doesn’t work that way, and neither do we.
Check out the blog I wrote for The Grievery on autonomy and self-empowerment in grief support here.
I’m honored to share my interview on "griefsense" podcast! Chatting with Mimi was like connecting with a dear old friend - she facilitated a conversation full joy and vulnerability.
Together, we discuss:
- Why my grandparents encouraged my path to end-of-life service
- How the TV show "Dope Sick" brought new compassion to an old grief
Our shared insights as serial grievers
- How we can use creativity and especially music as an outlet for grief release
“griefsense is a podcast that holds space for dialogue around loss and confronting mortality through the lens of social justice, creative expression, and what it means to channel our grief to be present in life— tapping into our inner #griefsense in the process”
Tune in to discover how embracing grief can lead to unexpected gifts of inspiration and resilience: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kat-primeau-on-growing-up-in-hospice-finding-your-gifts/id1700008377?i=1000657444212
I'm a geek for systems of organization, and Margareta Magnusson's "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning" is my favorite by far. Her tactful, relaxed process of tidying with end-of-life in mind can lead to a truly transformational relationship with one's belongings. I've helped others in downsizing and followed this system myself, and there is a real joy in organizing ones home so it is more accessible and easy to navigate. This process takes some work, but results in a deep sense of ease and peace of mind.
I like to return to this task annually, as the new year begins, and am always amazed by how much I have accumulated in a year. I save every card, letter, and ticket stub, so sorting through paper is an annual review of sorts. I like to set aside a quiet weekend to return my belongings to their homes, or mindfully pass them on to their next dwelling point, allowing any stagnant energy to move up and out. Having reacquainted myself with my belongings, I am reminded of accomplishments and happy memories, as well as projects and ways of being I've been holding onto that are no longer serving me. It is a contemplative and gentle process that brings a real lightness into our home.
I highly recommend you grab a copy of "The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter" for yourself so you may experience enjoy Magnusson's philosophy and flair. And if you want to get started today, please check out my notes below!
Overview:
· In Sweden there is a kind of decluttering called döstädning, dö meaning “death” and städning meaning “cleaning”
· We are used to cleaning up AFTER ourselves, this is cleaning up BEFORE you are unable to
· Death cleaning is a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly
· Magnusson recommends you approach Death Cleaning around age 65 (or sooner!) so your home is safer for you to live in and you still have the energy to do the work required
· There is no timeline and work can go as slow or fast as you want it to!
Steps:
1. Tell your loved ones what you’re up to, they may want to be involved.
2. Take your time, take breaks, rest, and recharge between categories or rooms; remember to enjoy your life!
3. Don’t start with photos, letters, sentimental items, etc.... start with larger items then move to small.
4. Consider beginning with storage: basement, attic, storage units, random cupboards where things you’ve forgotten you even own are stored.
5. Ask yourself, “Will anyone I know be happier if I save this?” If the answer is no, let it go.
6. Next, move to clothes. Only keep clothing that is your size, you believe you will wear again, or items for which the sentimental connection is strong. Create one pile for keep, one pile for giving away, one pile for mending or cleaning (and then go back and assess if you will really fix them; if not, get rid of them).
7. Organize your home as you go so everything has a designated place it belongs and can be returned to after use. A tidy home will be easier for you to live in and simpler for your loved ones to navigate.
8. Create a “Throw Away” box that includes personal letters, photos, sentimental items you wish to keep but which have no value to others and can simply be thrown away when you’re gone. You may also wish to create a DO NOT OPEN box of personal items and tell a trusted person to toss it without opening.
9. Celebrate the gift you are giving the planet and your constellation of loved ones by mindfully parting with your belongings!
Where Will My Things Go?
It’s entirely up to you! Some suggestions:
· Ask if anyone wants or needs the items you are letting go of. Magnusson recommends starting with loved ones, neighbors, friends, or community organizations asking for donations.
· Slowly, unobtrusively gift by giving beautiful, useful items to friends each time they visit.
· Rather than buying a gift when invited to a friend’s, bring them something from your collection!
· If you own items of value, an auctioneer can help with appraisal and sales of items at auction in exchange for a percentage of sales. You may also wish to sell items to antique shops, secondhand stores, etc.
· Leave notes on items left in your home (i.e., leave a piece of tape under the kitchen table that includes the name and contact info of person you’d like to receive the table, post mortem).
· Consider selling your home with furniture included.
· Organize a clothing swap with friends. This is a really fun hang, and my primary source of new clothing for the past few years. Send me a message for more info!
· The New Yorker's "A Guide to Getting Rid of Almost Everything" covers a lot of great modern options for transferring belongings!
Are you interested in trying Swedish Death Cleaning in your home? Get support from Good Grief Doula by scheduling a FREE consultation here.
It is no secret that dementia is a topic that is near and dear to me. Throughout my experience of navigating my dad John's journey with behavioral variant frontotemporal degeneration and ALS, and my grandma Jackie's progression with Alzheimer’s, I've leaned on A LOT of helpful resources for dementia education and support.
In preparation for the upcoming Forget Me Not Dementia Care & Resources panel at the Altadena Library May 23rd, I'm sharing some of my favorite spaces online for actionable advice, community, and on-going education on these topics. This is a living document, and one I will continue to add to over time - you may access this document HERE.
From my training as a hospice volunteer, an assisted living employee and seated exercise instructor, and my experience as a grief educator and End-of-Life doula, I've discovered so many helpful people and approaches for living with and caregiving for folks with dementia. You are not alone.
Please reach out with any questions and/or suggestions for resources to add to this list. Together, we can harness the transformative power of grief for good!
This workshop is designed to help make grief around Father’s Day a little bit easier. Join Postal Service for the Dead and Good Grief Doula for gently-guided, lighthearted grief practices for navigating the holiday.
This two-hour workshop will begin with play, movement, and Laughter Yoga, continue to visual art-making, and end with a letter-writing ritual. Participants will connect with embodied play and the expressive arts as tools for approaching grief and experiencing catharsis. No prior comedy, performance, or artmaking experience required!
If you’ve experienced father loss, estrangement, loss of father figure(s), loss of identity due to child loss or infertility, or anticipatory grief as Father’s Day approaches, this workshop is for you! While we each have unique stories around loss and grief, we can all share in the common language of laughter and healing community.
Learn more and register here: https://sleepysue.studio/workshops/2024-06-02
